we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
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