WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
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