threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
Fuck me I smell like cheese
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Randomize
