i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
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