yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
So apparently I’m into choking now
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
Randomize
