You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Randomize
