he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
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