She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
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I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
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Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
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