The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
Randomize
