I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
Randomize
