I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
Randomize
