I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
Randomize