if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
Randomize
