Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
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