I just made out with a guy for $7.
What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
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