We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
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