i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
I have already put on my inside pants.
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
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