Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
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