Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
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