the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
Randomize
