Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
So squirting runs in the family.
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
Randomize
