I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize
