I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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