When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
Randomize
