So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
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