he thought i was a dude.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
Is it acceptable to pay for WiFi on flights solely for the purpose of getting on Tinder to find a sugar daddy on the plane that doesn’t mind upgrading me to first class?
Do it. You’re flying for two weddings. You’re gonna need that first class.
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize
