You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
I'm bleeding and have questions
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
Randomize
