i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
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