yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
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