Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
