Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
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