How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
Randomize
