i'm the matthew mcconaghey of this party. i'm too old, and too high.
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
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