He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
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