..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
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