I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
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Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
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Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
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