K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
Randomize
