forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
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