You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
Randomize
