my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
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