when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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