Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
Randomize
