I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
I told my mom happy mother's day then rubbed my belly and said "Oh, and happy grandmother's day too..." She started sobbing. You were right, that wasn't the best way to tell her.
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
Randomize
