we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
Randomize
