Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
Randomize
