We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
I think my nap took me to another dimension
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
I just called my kid butt plug. Does that make me a bad mommy??
This may be the most diplomatic thing you've ever said
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