The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
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