it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
Randomize
