I want to walk on stilts...naked
ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
I just got a text from a stranger offering to shave my asshole. I've been sober and out of town for a week, are you using my number as a dial-a-dumping again?
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
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