so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
Randomize
