We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
You tipped the Uber driver extra for taking your phone away while you were drunk texting
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
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