We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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