she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize
