they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
So my grandma sent me a valentines day present of waterproof mascara, tissues, and chocolate. Way to reinforce that I'll be single and depressed on valentines day. Thanks grandma.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
that is very illegal...i love you.
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
