apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
I'm way too hungover for life right now
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
Randomize
