So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
Randomize
