david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
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